In the effort of death, one can mistake their notions of apathy as a grandiose reasoning to their loss of effort and hence the next ‘logical’ step of forgoing the context in which one can provide effort and actions for something. As such, the wishing upon the end is fuelled from the same struggle that wishes to continue. Blurred as the lines between love and hate, this falls plainly to those that see it externally and holds itself ransom to those that feel it internally. The ultimate act of suppression is fuelled by an act of expression, quite fitting. A reminder then to yourself, that the same cluster and whirlwind of emotions that could provoke such thought processes, serve as the evidence that there is expression to be had and progress to be made. To the very least then, stay alive.
Meditate.